Long distance relationships are no easy thing to go through. It is stressful, nerve wracking, exciting, miserable, painful + enjoyable all at the same time. I have been in a long distance relationship for the past (almost) two years. + as difficult as these past two years have been for me, I have learned a lot – that’s what I want to share with you today! I am a person of reflection. I like to reflect on experiences, learn from them, + more importantly, use them to propel me forward in life. So here they are! The 6 things I have learned from being in a long-distance relationship.
IT NEVER IS EASY TO SAY GOODBYE
This is the most difficult & painful part of being in an LDR. Every time I say goodbye, I feel as though a wound is being opened again. Sometimes hurt worse than others, but they all sting nonetheless. I get very anxious the night before leaving – I rarely sleep on these nights. But in those moments, I take full advantage of the fact that I am there with Max & shift my mind towards appreciating that moment. I’ve accepted the fact that it won’t be easier to say good bye. But looking forward to that next hello is so worth it!
LIVE IN THE PRESENT
This one kind of piggy backs off of #1 a bit. But I have truly learned how to be present & live in the moment rather than consistently worry about everything to come in the future. In the beginning of our LDR, I was upset 24/7 because all I could think about was how little time I had to spend with him. It impacted me in ways I don’t like to admit, but I never felt like I was truly in the moment & when I left, I felt worse because I only thought about all of the external things. Only time was able to teach me this lesson. It took a lot of practicing when we have been together. Sometimes I have to tell myself “stop, think about the here & now”. Those moments will slip away so quickly if you let them. So enjoy them, enjoy the Facetime calls, the daily phone calls. Enjoy it all & NEVER take it for granted. This one has rolled over in all areas of my life, forcing me to focus on the present & appreciating every experience I currently have.
COMMITMENT IS A DAILY PRACTICE
We all know that relationships take work day in & day out. But with LDRs, extra effort must be made on both ends. You do not have the ability to go home & talk to your significant other every day. So you schedule phone calls & Facetime calls to fit into both of your busy schedules. Sometimes this means a quick 2 minute phone call in the middle of the day. For Max & I, we try to call each other on the phone at least once a day & Facetime each night before going to sleep. Some people may think this is too much, but it works for us. He understands that it is important to me that we have daily verbal communication with one another & we have found a way that works. Max drives about 45 mins-1.5 hours to & from work each day. So usually, if I am up in the mornings or off of work in the afternoons, he will call on his drive. Whatever works for you, make certain you set aside to put them first for a few moments each day. It is too easy for a relationship to fade if communication & commitment is not a priority each & every day. Even when things get tough, recognize that you are in a long-distance relationship for a reason. Hold tight to that reason.
SCHEDULE CONSISTENCY HELPS WITH THE TRANSITION OF LEAVING
This one is so important. When you leave your significant other, everything can go south pretty quickly. Stay in bed & watch sad movies all day sort of south. Having a consistent schedule, sticking to it while you see your significant other, & having it when you go back to being long distance allows you to find your groove a bit easier. For example, I know that I work out best in the mornings about a half hour to an hour after waking up. While I typically opt for more snuggle time in the mornings when I am with Max, I also know that getting up, working out, & starting my day off on the right foot helps in the long run. (I’m still working on this one!). When you stick to a schedule, there is a comfort in the idea that something is familiar. I feel that this makes the multiple hellos & goodbyes easier to adjust to.
YOU MAY HAVE TO BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER SOMETIMES
Max is the most supportive person in my life (aside from my parents). But there are times that he cannot talk on the phone or text me when I have exciting news. This seriously bummed me out, sometimes to the point that I wouldn’t care to celebrate an achievement or small step forward. But I learned that no one person is going to be there for every single good moment. Or even every single bad one. So it is critical to make sure you take care of yourself, support yourself, & watch a good cry movie when you need to. Being aware of it is the first step. But ultimately, you have to encourage yourself when you feel the need to! This could be positive affirmations or making time to celebrate with those around you or by yourself! Have a little party & celebrate yourself!!!
THERE WILL BE AN END (AT LEAST FOR ME!)
This is the last time I had to say bye in regard to a semester! I have completed 4 full, crazy, hectic semesters. & I only have 1 more to go!! Now is the time to enjoy my last moments in Ohio & prepare for my next chapter in life! I only have a few more goodbyes & then I never have to say goodbye again! What a sweet, sweet day that will be!
Are you in a long-distance relationship? Comment below with any tips you may have or what you learned through the process!
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